Tuesday, October 18, 2011
So I was listening to webcast of Oprah's Life Lessons the other night, and reading Face-Book comments on her fb site. I noticed several people posting messages concerning the attitude of "faking it till you make it" as contradictory to being your Authentic Self.
So is "faking it till you make it" being unauthentic? I would have to say no, it is not. If you have ever watched one of the makeover shows on television, you will find people who dress in inappropriate or frumpy ways and often their family and friends will nominate them to recieve a makeover. They will point out that the way this person dresses is holding them back from recieving promotions at work, getting jobs that they want, or sometimes even from finding someone to be in a relationship with.
And what usually happens at first is the person may become defensive. "We'll this is my style. I like looking like this. I don't want to dress in a manner that is cookie cutter fashion. That might work for you, but not for me. What's wrong with my clothes? I am comfortable wearing this."
And it won't matter how ratty, frumpy or over the top "sexy" (translate to slutty) they look, many of these people honestly believe that to wear a different style is to be false to who they are. And it takes a major intervention to blast so many of the false beliefs out of that person's head.
Some people become defensive and angry. Other's get frustrated because they want to please the people that are trying to show them a different way, and they try to follow the :"rules" but deep down they aren't convinced that this new style is going to accurately reflect who they see themselves to be.
But then an interesting thing happens. It usually occurs after the new clothes are bought, hairstyle is changed, and makeup session complete. They see the whole package, and go into shock at first. Suddenly they see a version of themselves that is in more alignment with who they felt they were deep down all along, and they come to recognize that the frumpier, outdated version and style was really just hiding who they were inside.
So take this now, a step further. When you are low on self-confidence, and you are told to fake it, to behave your way to sucess, is that lack of confidence your true, authentic self? Or is it a way to hide your inner light? Your inner power?
Remember, F.E.A.R is simply, False Evidence Appearing Real. When we start "faking" self-confidence and success, an interesting thing occurs. Our authentic self starts to emerge because our outside behavior is finally aligning itself to who we really are. This behavior may seem artifical but it is the way our authenic self would behave if we were to quit hiding, and faced our fears straight out. In the end, we really aren't faking anything at all.
The artifical self is the one tied to our ego. It feels fear, hides it light, and lacks self-confidence. Start being and acting like who you are really meant to be. Let your inner light shine.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
When I was a little girl, I chased tigers. I was fascinated by them even at the age of three. Tigers were exotic, beautiful, elusive, buttery, and dangerous. Especially dangerous. The ones I chased were imaginary of course. But that didn't make them any less exciting.
Today those tigers are symbolic of the dreams I have for my life. And these dreams are every bit as dangerous. It takes courage to dream and actually believe you can make those dreams into reality. What if I fail? How will I be able to handle that failure? Isn't is better to just play it safe and settle for a mediocre life instead? Hmmm. Perhaps it is riskier to do nothing, to not try, because then I will spend my life sleep-walking and feeling nothing. Infinitely more painful isn't it?
I want to be a tiger. Fearless. Powerful. Playful. Dangerous. I want to set my world on fire.
I wrote the following poem a few years ago. It isn't literature, but it does express my thoughts and feelings about awakening to the power of dreams and visualization that leads to manifestation.
I am only three the first time I feel
The slap of his unvelveted paw
Batting against my nose
As if I were a mere mouse.
Awakening me to his profound existence.
At first, I indignantly exhale my profuse outrage
At this insolent flaming Fire, who has dared
To disturb my safely cool universe, uninvited.
This amberly, buttery beauty whose arrogance
Implodes my breath into a hundred thousand
Tawny-green, star-like question marks
Seeking to answer it's own breathings.
And I know if I can but capture just one
Ebonesque stripe and weave it
Into my own golden-red hair
Then I will have found the heart of my soul.
And so I continue to chase
This ever elusive tiger.
Written September 18, 2000
Friday, October 7, 2011
I have been thinking lately of how, in my past, I have felt so ungrounded at times. Like I didn't belong. I have experienced a lot of personal loss in my life and have sometimes felt just how easy it would have been to just give up. How easy it is to give into despair and feel that nothing ever really changes. You may have heard the saying, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Changing our belief system can be really challenging at times, especially when things happen that are truly outside our control.
But when I think of faith, I am reminded of a tree that has it roots deep inside the earth. If the roots are strong and deep enough, then the winds that blow cannot uproot it. And I get it. I get that sometimes our faith gets deeply shaken. And we feel like giving up. Giving up our dreams. Giving up on love. It may feel safer that way, even if it means that we have to experience feelings of numbing loneliness.
The thing is, giving up should never be an option. Not when it comes to living the live that we are intended to live. Not when it means that we stay cocooned in a so called blanket of self-protection just to avoid taking a chance. A risk.
We only need a tiny bit of faith the size of a seed. From that seed a tree grows and bears much fruit. And in every single piece of fruit are seeds that can multiply into an orchard. Talk about abundance. Talk about lushness.
While we cannot control everything that happens in our lives, we can control our responses to these unfortunate experiences. We can ground ourselves deep inside our faith. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to learn from our pain. We can choose to be grateful and soak in the abundance that pours out of our soul. The good stuff is here. You just have to look for it and recognize it.
Be like a tree planted by water. Let your roots of faith and love ground you deep into an eternal inner knowing that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Because you do belong.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Someday, I will pursue my dreams. When I am thinner. When I have more money. When the time is right. How will I know? When is when?
There will never be a perfect time to start living the life you were meant to live. The only time that exists is now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to us. I have spent too much of my life telling myself that someday things will be better.
I have spent too many times telling myself that next year will be my year. And missing so out on what is here and now. What is right in front of me.
I am not going to suddenly wake up one morning and find all my limiting beliefs and insecurities have vanished. But I have figured out that the only way to overcome my fears is to just take a deep breath, let go, jump right on in and do it anyway. No matter what.
I chose to be happy now. To live in the moment now. To find some way each and every day to live my life on my terms. Today. Now.